On board United flight 863 to Sydney

Sunday, December 27th, 2009, 2:43 am Sydney time

7 1/2 hrs down, 7 hrs to go. We all slept during the first half of the flight. About 1/2 hr ago, they served a “light snack” (limpid turkey and cheddar on a limpid roll) and woke us up. Heather and I just switched seats. She’s sitting with the girls now, and I’m across the aisle. A good time to catch up on my travelogue.

Our flight left 1 1/2 hrs (!) late. After boarding, we sat at the gate and soon impatience gave way to frustration and anger because nobody would tell us anything. Eventually the cockpit announced that due to an incident earlier in the day on a Delta flight from Amsterdam to Detroit, they were trying to disconnect the in-flight entertainment system from the plane’s electrical (?) systems so they could show us movies. It was all very muddled and I still don’t exactly know what the attempted bombing attempt by a Nigerian man has to do with the in-flight entertainment system. But maybe I’ll find an explanation once I’m hooked up to the Internet again.

Anyway, after about an hour they realized that they couldn’t unlink the entertainment system and we finally took off. Dinner was served relatively quickly. Choice of “meatloaf with barbecue sauce and garlic mashed potatoes” or “pasta trio in Alfredo sauce”. I took a gamble on the meatloaf, and it truly was horrid. I don’t know how they can mess up something so simple! Laura didn’t finish her pasta—which, for the record, came with a marinara sauce, not Alfredo—so I had a taste, and it was only marginally more palatable. Elena had already fallen asleep and since my attempts at waking her were fruitless, she skipped dinner altogether. But I saved the best part of the meal for her: the prepackaged brownie.

2:53 am now. Elena, Laura and Heather are listening to their iPods, looking sleepy still. I’ll wrap this up now and will try to watch a DVD, provided the battery in my laptop lasts long enough. Soon we’ll be in Sydney, and I’ll be able to take off the anti-thrombosis stockings that Heather’s parents gave me for Christmas. I’m sure they’re very effective at preventing blood clots in your legs, but man, they are TIGHT.

5:43 am. Featureless bright light streaming in through the windows. Are we in limbo? Stuck between here and there? Or am I hallucinating, maybe because a blood clot made it past my stockings after all? What I know is this: I’m HUNGRY and I want OFF this plane! RIGHT NOW!!!

Computer battery down to 16 minutes so this will be my last rant from the plane. We should be in Sydney is less than three hours. I wonder what their customs and immigrations procedure is like? We had to fill out an arrival card, answering a list of questions such as whether we’re bringing in forbidden items such as pornography. Should I have declared my stash of Hustler?